Getting ready for the chill

The other day my beeped at me- "Extreme Temperatures: 39 degrees F." Uh oh. They say that it's not even really that cold right now. That it's just gonna get worse. Hmmm...

Yesterday was Saturday, October 30, 2010....

... right? So, why the trick-or-treating last night?? Today is Halloween, October 31, right?? So, I was on call last night and the doc I was getting sign-out from says she has to rush home to take her kids trick-or-treating ... she says that it only happens from 6pm to 8pm- so, we hurry... no problem... Then I think, huh? Isn't Halloween tomorrow night? And why do the kids have only 2 hours?

So I finally ask someone this...."This is the Bible Belt," the nurse says. So I have to ask, " What about tomorrow night, Halloween? And how do people know about this schedule change- was there some sort of announcement?" "They annouce it on the news. They change to Saturday night whenever Halloween lands on Sunday...." she says. Uhhh... ok. This state is nutso. They just make up their own rules- what about people like me who don't watch the news? Frantic text to dog sitter- "Candy for treaters is above microwave in basket. Beware of ding dong of door bell- big dog will freak and little dog will dart."

Baby dog

The little dog likes to be carries around the house, like a baby. It's tricky getting chores and things done when you have to carry a 7-lb baby dog around everywhere. I guess I could refuse, but who could say no to this face??? So, I carry him around in a make-shift sling so that my hands are free! So, efficient and still enabling this co-dependent relationship. Cesar Milan would die!

Not good.

This doesn't seem like a good sign when there is a crack in the house.

Just relaxing

This is basically what I do in my free time- watch my dogs watch me... actually, the big dog can't even be bothered to watch me. She is very busy relaxing. I actually would like to spend a whole lot more time watching my dogs do nothing, but I really don't have that much free time anyway.

People keep asking things like, "So, are you ready for football season?!?!!!" Huh. How am I supposed to get ready for football? Well... I'm not going to watch it, if that's what they mean... I'm already very busy trying to schedule time for dog-watching....

Sin!

Oklahoma is in the bible belt. A gal I work with said that OKC is like the shiny rhinestone on that belt. People here are against sin, apparently. So, they pass out these pamphlets on weekends outside the local movie theater...... just so that we are all clear on the matter. Then, I think, why do I look like this needs to be explained to me with a scary monster picture???

Dirty doggies

The grass around the house hasn't really ever grown in since we've been here. So, the rain last night kinda made a moat around the house... just a really shallow one, filled with mud. The backyard is basically a big doggie pottie room, so i think it a special mud with "fertilizer". Who knows what was stuck on little dog's feet this morning... country living. yukkie. poopie.

Oh my BABY!!

Do you see it??? Do you see the gash on his head?!?! Yes, I know!! I saw it after we came in from our walk. I didn't see him run into anything, he never cried or barked- what the f^&$*ng blasted numnuts happened? I died inside when I saw it. How do you people with kids do this? When they fall and get cut? I almost died- oooohhhh my heart can't take it! I started cursing at no one in particular. Then I put antibiotic ointment on his little head, which he promptly rubbed off. Then I thought about how to get a band aid on there without sticking it to his hair. Then I thought.... I need to CHILL the FREAK DOWN. I can't even really see it in this photo. I have turned into crazy LA mom, but the worst kind- I'm not really a mom! I think I'm a mom to my dogs... yeah. This slow-paced country life is turning the volume way up on my Crazy Notch.

Blogging makes it so easy to wave that flag of neurosis high and proud. Maybe I actually will make a flag, and see what my HOA says about it.

"Special Weather Statement"

".. Cold front to bring gusty winds and thunderstorms late this afternoon and evening.... Rapid changes in the area weather are expected.... Strong to severe thunderstorms will be possible .... The strongest storms...could contain damaging winds and large hail......... Meanwhile nearly any storm could produce gusty winds... frequent cloud to ground lightning and heavy rains. Although warm and humid.... winds gusting 30 to 40 mph while temperatures fall 15 to 20 degrees.
Those planning outdoor activities late this afternoon and evening are encouraged to monitor subsequent weather statements ......"

What?? Gusty? Hail?? Why#?#? Who would be "planning outdoor activities" with this kind of Special Weather Statement?!? These people out here are so though.. what are they made of?? Teflon??

I think the Okies are like Dorothy, so sweet and talk kinda slow... just want to go home to Auntie Em. I am like the WWW, wicked witch of the west... always in black, different color skin, lives alone, have a little dog (oh, wait- that's Dorothy...), an outsider. WWW melts with water- like me in rain. Dorothy is indestructible- she walked that entire yellow brick road, and that b#%@ch killed 2 witches on the way... accidentally! These people out here are tough! I think it's the meat.

Don't tell my mom about this weather- she will freak. I'm so serious.

It Said "Transmission Faulted"

This car was supposed to be moved to OKC by a moving company. They never showed up so here we are in New Mexico.

Okies love their American trucks, but not many Rovers in town. Someone pointed to my car when I went to the Farmer's Market and said, "You're the one who moved onto Harding. You're the medical student, right?" Kinda,.... that's right.

The car pooped out on our way to the airport, so it's at the dealer right now. Basically, the engine failed to start, and the gears wouldn't switch. So, we cruised the car to Bob Moore Land Rover which is really one door in SuperTarget-of-auto-dealerships. The one service agent that takes care of the Rovers asked me, "Did you turn the engine off and start it again? That usually takes care of the problem." Uh.... So, he started the car and he says, "Yeah, the engine just shut off (then he just looked at me)". Ummm, yeah... so, can I leave the car to be serviced?? I am living on earth? or where I am? I am speaking perfect English, remember?

We agree that the car needs to be fixed. So, I tell him that we are trying to catch a flight so I ask about a loaner/rental car (standard since the Range is under warranty). He refuses since it'll just be "sitting at the airport all weekend." Sitting at my house or sitting at the airport- I didn't see the difference... but I see that we are not speaking the same English at this point. My mom asks him to call us a cab. He says, "A cab won't come for at least 40 minutes." Ok, then.... and he leaves us on the curb outside the service area. So, I call my dog sitter...

I'll be back in OKC tonight. The car will still be at the dealer for at least one more day. I need to the pick up a rental car in the morning. I may need to bring someone to help translate English to English.....

Me v.s. Bugs

This is the artillery I used for the war I declared on the bugs. The house I'm renting was still being renovated when I moved in, so it had not been cleaned and was filled with a variety pack of insects. So, I was fighting them and losing miserably.... parts of my body looked like Will Smith when he ate that seafood in Hitch. But look what I'm packing now....

Not Normal

I rarely know much about life outside of medicine, but I know that this is not normal. It's been 11 days now of some sort of sewage in the house, showers not draining or draining the opposite way it's supposed to, toilets flushing well (we haven't flushed paper down the toilet for the past week- I like to pretend like we live in Greece.)... but now flushing the toilet is a new game- you never what is going to come back at you or where in the house it is going to come up and out of... so exciting. My life has never been this exciting in LA... and people said Oklahoma living would be quiet....

Mark it!

The utility company came by last weekend to mark up the backyard so the plumber would know where not to dig up the electrical lines (danger!). Little dog extra-marked the areas....

The gardener didn't show up that morning to mow the lawn, but I guess it really didn't matter since it was gonna be all dug up anyway. This is kinda been a theme here- sometimes people just don't show up for things...???

So, the sewage situation in the house turned the showers and toilets into mini active volcanoes a few days later. If we bothered them too much, they would get angry and erupt poop and other stuff... but we never knew when it would happen, or where it would splash... keeping us sharp! like ninjas! as all Asians should be!

When it started happening with every flush, I finally decided that we should go somewhere with functional plumbing.. after all, this really isn't Greece. (I am now immune to sewage smells.) So, we are staying in downtown Oklahoma City in a furnished apartment. It's been 5 days, and we are moving back home today!

Home Round Home

Actually, the house isn't round... just the bathroom in the center of it is kinda roundish... hence the curved mirrors that remind you of the circus.

Every where you go, you see this big brick bathroom in the center of the house... you have to walk around it to get from the kitchen to the great room.. to the bedrooms.... but I know it'll be my favorite room when the tornado hits. I've already filled it with water bottles, weather radio, batteries magazines (who knows how long we'll be stuck in there??), blanket, dog treats... just got to find my snowboarding helmet. They say that things "fly around" in a tornado, so you must protect your head. uh, ?!?!? ... ok... I wonder if they make doggie helmets... I will need an large and an ex-small.

It's Super Target!

This is where I spend a good deal of time these days. This place has EVERYthing.... I could not believe my eyes. I got lost the first time I went in. This photo was taken on a Friday night, because that's the kind of crazy thing I do on Fridays! Go to S-Target and get a watermelon... AND a shower caddy. They have a humongous dispenser of cart wipes and alcohol hand sanitizer right when you walk in (it's by the area where you can weight your mail and send packages- uh huh!)... I have never seen anyone else use it. I consider it my personal stash of wipes. I wipe the cart, my tote, sometimes my clogs.... then I go! S-Target understands me.

My best S-Target trip to-date was when the cashier told me that he was "astounded that you speak perfect English!" I thanked God that I did because it's really the only language that I know well.... Then I thought, I am astounding here! Really, I can die now- what else is there for me to be?? So, every chance I get, I try to speak very loudly in public so that people can witness my perfect English. I looove to astound people.

Can See from Space

This building is a restaurant in Oklahoma City called the Prohibition. I think that years back, the city planned on tearing it down but Okies (that's what they call themselves... I am not one of them yet...) voted to keep it since there are only a few of these in the US. Have you ever seen anything like it? I haven't been inside, but I think it would make a great home, if there were more windows...

Sewage Backing Up

Last week, this brown stuff came bubbling UP and OUT of the shower drain like there was a poltergeist living under this old house. I was standing and saw it out of the corner of my eye. Doesn't smell great. It was in the house for 5 days until the land lord sent a plumber.. He doesn't work weekends.... The thing is- this house was custom built by a lady in the 60's who lived alone in Oklahoma who was a judge or something... so a smart lady. She built this really strange-looking but sturdy bathroom with brick walls in the center of the house. I think the idea was to use the bathroom as the "safe room" for when tornadoes try to tear your house down. (I've learned you're supposed to go to the center of the house, or basement, or "safe room" that is made of cement or what ever thing that won't blow away....) So, this brown stuff was in the center of the house for 5 days. I know there was poo in there because little dog kept trying to sniff it... I know, yukky....

Prada's food

For some reason, little dog likes to eat big dog's food. Or maybe, he just likes to eat out of the big dog bowl. Anyway, the big bowl is set higher for big dog so that little guy can't get to it... so I thought... he kinda couldn't reach, so he did a sideways arching maneuver and eat one kibble at a time.

my socks

The dogs love to play with my socks. Not really "play"- steal (like Houdini- socks are in the closet so I have no idea how they get them), then carry them around all day.... even hide them from me... eventually they get tired of them, then my socks end up all over the house.

I hired a dog walker after meeting with her for about 30 minutes.....(I'll never admit out loud how desperate I was). She came over to meet the babies- they liked her. So, I handed her my house keys- and handed her my dogs the next day.... basically, I handed her my life. I cried at the thought that someone else would be walking them, that they would be following someone else..... I hoped she wasn't a single white female, you know... girls can be crazy. When I came home from work on the day of their first walk, I noticed that the 5 or so pairs of socks that used to be scattered across the living room were now gathered in a little pile. Who would have done that? Big dog? Little dog? I think I got a nice one.

Hollywood-Here I Come!

Just kidding... This is the opposite direction of going to California. This is what you see when you drive on the 40 East going toward Oklahoma City. Did you know that from Bakersfield, it's a straight shot on the 40 to OKC? Through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas.. uh-huh.... and the whole thing pretty much looks like this... sometimes there are abandoned cars on the side of the road... Started driving on Wednesday from LA and got to OKC on Friday night...