Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Baby dog

The little dog likes to be carries around the house, like a baby. It's tricky getting chores and things done when you have to carry a 7-lb baby dog around everywhere. I guess I could refuse, but who could say no to this face??? So, I carry him around in a make-shift sling so that my hands are free! So, efficient and still enabling this co-dependent relationship. Cesar Milan would die!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Not good.

This doesn't seem like a good sign when there is a crack in the house.

Just relaxing

This is basically what I do in my free time- watch my dogs watch me... actually, the big dog can't even be bothered to watch me. She is very busy relaxing. I actually would like to spend a whole lot more time watching my dogs do nothing, but I really don't have that much free time anyway.

People keep asking things like, "So, are you ready for football season?!?!!!" Huh. How am I supposed to get ready for football? Well... I'm not going to watch it, if that's what they mean... I'm already very busy trying to schedule time for dog-watching....


Oklahoma is in the bible belt. A gal I work with said that OKC is like the shiny rhinestone on that belt. People here are against sin, apparently. So, they pass out these pamphlets on weekends outside the local movie theater...... just so that we are all clear on the matter. Then, I think, why do I look like this needs to be explained to me with a scary monster picture???

Friday, September 3, 2010

Dirty doggies

The grass around the house hasn't really ever grown in since we've been here. So, the rain last night kinda made a moat around the house... just a really shallow one, filled with mud. The backyard is basically a big doggie pottie room, so i think it a special mud with "fertilizer". Who knows what was stuck on little dog's feet this morning... country living. yukkie. poopie.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Oh my BABY!!

Do you see it??? Do you see the gash on his head?!?! Yes, I know!! I saw it after we came in from our walk. I didn't see him run into anything, he never cried or barked- what the f^&$*ng blasted numnuts happened? I died inside when I saw it. How do you people with kids do this? When they fall and get cut? I almost died- oooohhhh my heart can't take it! I started cursing at no one in particular. Then I put antibiotic ointment on his little head, which he promptly rubbed off. Then I thought about how to get a band aid on there without sticking it to his hair. Then I thought.... I need to CHILL the FREAK DOWN. I can't even really see it in this photo. I have turned into crazy LA mom, but the worst kind- I'm not really a mom! I think I'm a mom to my dogs... yeah. This slow-paced country life is turning the volume way up on my Crazy Notch.

Blogging makes it so easy to wave that flag of neurosis high and proud. Maybe I actually will make a flag, and see what my HOA says about it.

"Special Weather Statement"

".. Cold front to bring gusty winds and thunderstorms late this afternoon and evening.... Rapid changes in the area weather are expected.... Strong to severe thunderstorms will be possible .... The strongest storms...could contain damaging winds and large hail......... Meanwhile nearly any storm could produce gusty winds... frequent cloud to ground lightning and heavy rains. Although warm and humid.... winds gusting 30 to 40 mph while temperatures fall 15 to 20 degrees.
Those planning outdoor activities late this afternoon and evening are encouraged to monitor subsequent weather statements ......"

What?? Gusty? Hail?? Why#?#? Who would be "planning outdoor activities" with this kind of Special Weather Statement?!? These people out here are so though.. what are they made of?? Teflon??

I think the Okies are like Dorothy, so sweet and talk kinda slow... just want to go home to Auntie Em. I am like the WWW, wicked witch of the west... always in black, different color skin, lives alone, have a little dog (oh, wait- that's Dorothy...), an outsider. WWW melts with water- like me in rain. Dorothy is indestructible- she walked that entire yellow brick road, and that b#%@ch killed 2 witches on the way... accidentally! These people out here are tough! I think it's the meat.

Don't tell my mom about this weather- she will freak. I'm so serious.