"Special Weather Statement"

".. Cold front to bring gusty winds and thunderstorms late this afternoon and evening.... Rapid changes in the area weather are expected.... Strong to severe thunderstorms will be possible .... The strongest storms...could contain damaging winds and large hail......... Meanwhile nearly any storm could produce gusty winds... frequent cloud to ground lightning and heavy rains. Although warm and humid.... winds gusting 30 to 40 mph while temperatures fall 15 to 20 degrees.
Those planning outdoor activities late this afternoon and evening are encouraged to monitor subsequent weather statements ......"

What?? Gusty? Hail?? Why#?#? Who would be "planning outdoor activities" with this kind of Special Weather Statement?!? These people out here are so though.. what are they made of?? Teflon??

I think the Okies are like Dorothy, so sweet and talk kinda slow... just want to go home to Auntie Em. I am like the WWW, wicked witch of the west... always in black, different color skin, lives alone, have a little dog (oh, wait- that's Dorothy...), an outsider. WWW melts with water- like me in rain. Dorothy is indestructible- she walked that entire yellow brick road, and that b#%@ch killed 2 witches on the way... accidentally! These people out here are tough! I think it's the meat.

Don't tell my mom about this weather- she will freak. I'm so serious.